As you read this I am likely on a plane, medicated and trying desperately to focus on the destination.
I’m not a good flyer. I never used to be afraid to board an airplane. I loved everything about traveling. Well, not the packing. That just sucks. I can never get all the shoes I want to take to fit in the suitcase. And as I type that I realize that not one of you cares about that first world problem.
I remember in days gone by loving the whole experience; arriving to the airport, schlepping bags in, managing through security, and finally…finding enough time to grab bags of peanut M&Ms and a few useless, trashy tabloids to wade through on the plane. Never in the terminal. No. That was reserved for Starbucks and people watching.
Today, I am terrified and I have been for days. I have been a raging banshee despite my resolution (and failed attempts) not to be. My family probably hates me a little right now.
But they’ll get over it.
Won’t they?
The last time I flew, which was this same time last year, I had a god-awful panic attack mid-air that had tears streaming down my face and an absolute conviction that I couldn’t swallow or breathe. I was wild-eyed and convinced at any moment that I would fly out of my seat and scream for someone to let me out, let me out, LET ME OUT!
At 30,000 feet.
I never left my seat and I am really hoping that won’t happen today and have taken steps to insure my sanity stays intact.
In all honesty, I had this exact same reaction on the monorail at Disney when it stopped on the raised tracks for ten minutes so my uneducated guess is it is not only flying……it’s being stuck in a tin can full of people.
Wish me us all luck.
So, having said all of that, I have put up a couple of recycled posts for the coming week. Some of you wonderful folks who followed me here from my first blog have already read them. I do notice that I have a few new people who have joined the ranks (for which I am incredible grateful) and these may give you a deeper look into my psyche.
Have a wonderful week, friends.
Aloha!
Photo credit: Liane Metzler/unsplash.com
An Honest Sinner 