When Our Children Want To Make a Difference

There will be no prizes at the door. The only thing you will find me peddling here, aside from words, are products I make and sell myself for charity donation and other things that are sold to us so we can, in the words of my good friend Lizzi, buy the world better.

This is a direct quote from my About page. And I meant it, but I have always reserved the right to promote the hell out of anything that makes a difference in someone’s life.

This is one of those times.

In July of 2013, when my daughter was only ten years old, she was incredibly sensitive to a story about a young girl who lived in our area who, just a few years older than Nikki,  had several different types of cancer. She was an incredibly brave and her personality was forever upbeat and positive as she shared her life with the world. I know she changed lives before she left this broken world for good.

This young girl was very involved in a local charity in our town and Nikki decided she wanted to volunteer. She wanted to make a difference, even something as small as a smile to other kids who were battling cancer. It broke her heart when she found out she was too young.

That didn’t stop her. She asked me if I could help her make things, all kinds of things-her ideas at ten were endless-and open an Etsy shop to sell them. Then we could donate the money to the charity, BASECamp Childhood Cancer Foundation.

This would do until she was old enough to volunteer her time, energy, and heart. I admire her compassion. I am embracing her determination.

And so, NixHeart was born. It has been a sporadic journey. A young girl with ever changing ideas about style is always coming up with new things to try. I finally managed to pin her down to a choice few but chances are good there will always be new and interesting things created.

With life such as it is, we haven’t gotten to pay as much attention to NixHeart as we should. That ends today.

Today I want to share some photos and a link to NixHeart. We would love for you to visit, share, pin, tweet, and maybe, if you feel so inclined, help make a difference.

These are just a sample of what we have in the shop right now and there are more great things on the way. Proceeds from every sale will be donated quarterly to BASECamp Childhood Cancer Foundation.

You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter.

Bright royal blue quartz briolettes wrapped in silver plated wire

A glitter filled glass bottle with a charm that reads ‘Made With Love’. This pendant is dedicated to a wonderul friend who believes in compassion and whose heart is filled with grace and love. To her, glitter is the ultimate show of love mixed with a bit of silliness and she is a huge believer in our hope to make the world better for those in need. We are happy to custom make a bottle glitter in any color you choose that is available to us. All you have to do is ask!

One in a new line of gorgeous statement pieces at NixHeart. The best part of this line is that is fun and funky yet elegant and modern at the same time. These pieces are sure to get noticed!

A 30mm antique bronze metal pendant with domed glass embellishment, painted green with gold glitter.  The pendant is attached to a 24 inch large link chain making necklace length adjustment simple.

Lovely moonstone briolettes wrapped in sterling silver wire and hanging from sterling silver hooks to create these elegant earrings.

A one inch antique bronze pendant with domed glass embellishment, painted brown with multi color glitter.

Gorgeous green onyx wrapped in sterling silver wire hung on sterling silver hooks to make this simple but stunning pair of earrings.

Sometimes peddling is worth it.

Thanks for taking the time. Nikki and I truly appreciate it!

 

 

 

Public Shaming – Parenting Win or Abuse?

There is outrage on the internet which I’m sure comes as no surprise.

A thirteen year old Tacoma girl ended her life by jumping off of a bridge. Many are blaming the girl’s father for her suicide due to a 15 second video posted on YouTube in which she is shown blankly staring at into the camera with her newly cropped hair. The camera pans to a pile of long dark locks laying on the floor of what looks to be a garage.

The reasons for the hair cut aren’t clear and there are few words said on the video but apparently the girl, Izabel, did something her father found unacceptable and this was the consequence he chose as punishment.

There are reports that Izabel’s father is not the person who uploaded the video to the internet, that it was a family friend. Some of the people chiming in with their opinions didn’t even know Izabel. There will always be people looking for their fifteen seconds and, as a side note, shame on them for choosing a thirteen year old girl’s suicide to find it.

Perhaps it isn’t my place and the story is still developing but I am going to go out on a limb and suggest that there may have been other issues that contributed to Izabel’s suicide. Perhaps this was just the proverbial straw. Only time will tell.

Regardless of who uploaded the video, this is an episode among many of a new found way of punishing our children – public shaming. We’ve all seen the cute little kids in the ‘get along shirt’ and it gave us all a good laugh and we mentally high five the mom because it’s just too damn cute.

But we also see older kids and teens on the street corners or in front of a school with posters and sandwich boards publicly shouting out their infractions, their faces grim and who knows what thoughts reeling through their heads.

At what point does this public shaming become harmful, maybe bordering on abusive? When does this punishment actually fit the crime? What unseen damage is being done?

As a parent, I would never choose to publicly humiliate my child. I believe in consequences but I’m not going to condone adding public, and sometimes possibly viral, humiliation to the tween and teenage psyche that is perhaps already riddled with angst and confusion. That seems to me like throwing fuel on a fire.

When one of my children was younger, they walked out of a store with a pack of gum in their pocket. They have been taught that stealing is wrong and when we do something that isn’t right, there are consequences. I turned the car around, brought my child back to the store, and I waited at the door while they went to the counter and returned the pack of gum to the cashier with an apology. Was that embarrassing? Yes. Did they learn a lesson? Yes. Was it followed up with a good talking to about consequences for their actions? Yes. Was it splattered all over the internet in pictures or video? No.

I understand that the things some kids are doing are more serious than a stolen pack of gum but my point is this:

There is a better way to handle things than putting their face in front of a crowd and risking them feeling that the world sees them as ‘bad’, so why bother to try and be good. Kids will make mistakes, and again I reiterate that there should be consequences, but is adding insult to injury the answer? Or does it only cause more harm?

It is our job to love and protect our children. It is also our job to teach them. Can we not teach them without the world being witness and increasing the feelings of inadequacy, insecurity, or failure they may already be feeling?

I just have to ask…

How many times does this method actually work?

How many times does it backfire?

Perhaps, most importantly….is it worth the risk?

 

Photo credit: greyerbaby on Morguefile