sisterwives speak letter

That Was Then, This Is Now

I am an alcoholic and an addict. I have made so many mistakes in this lifetime, some of which I can never make right. I have caused emotional and spiritual damage to myself and others that cannot be undone. I worshipped a devil and in the process a part of me is forever lost.

For years I walked a path of self-destruction and could never quite succeed in dying, the only thing I thought could bring me peace.

I was wrong.

This is part of a letter I wrote to myself as a part of my recovery from alcoholism and addiction. The full letter, the first part of which I wrote in 1997, is on The Sisterwives today.

I added to it just this week, almost 18 years later.

You can find it here.

 

 

Photo source: Wikipedia.org

11 thoughts on “That Was Then, This Is Now”

  1. I read your letter from 1997. Is your letter something you look at frequently for inspiration, motivation or something you prefer to leave alone because of the memories associated with that time in life? If this is too personal I apologize. Either way it is such an honest piece to share with the entire world. I appreciate your post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, it’s not too personal so no need to apologize. I wrote this on the internet….personal flew out the window the minute I hit publish.
      I don’t look at it. I pulled it out just for this post because I wanted the exact words. I try very hard not to look back. Those days are gone and I’ve done what I can to make amends I could for all the hurt I caused. In all honesty, it makes me a little uneasy to remember. Sick to my stomach. I don’t feel the need so much anymore but earlier on I would make myself look back to remind myself of the kind of person I no longer wanted to be and the life (or death) I really didn’t want.
      I don’t know if that answered your question, but I hope it did.
      Thank you so much for reading. I’m grateful for you.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. How loud’s it need to be? :p
        I’m learning. I’m a work in progress, my DA, but you know that, and you’ve seen it happen, and in September you get to meet whatever level of it I’ve gotten to by then.

        And I know. And I’m glad. And grateful 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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