Bleacher Report

“You a white whore!”

Those were the words that got my attention first also perking the ears of my twelve year old daughter who was sitting right next to me.

“Ugh! Shut the fuck up!”

“You a FAT white whore! Let’s go to the parking lot. I’ll (unintelligible) at your car!”

“SHUT UP! I wasn’t even talking to you but you have to open your mouth and start….” *makes a yak-yak talking motion with her hand*

“You a fat, white whore. I’ll see YOU after the game.” Looks down at the child next to her,  whose approximate age is four, maybe five, and points. “Yeah…you hear that fat white woman right there. Mmm hmmm.”

“Fine with me. Let’s go. Why are you even in the middle of this? I wasn’t even talking to you. Shut the fuck up.”

The white woman looks over at a brave fan who was asking them to remember where they are. “I’m trying but she won’t shut the fuck up.”

Where were they? A kid’s football game.

There were more nasty words exchanged, repeated promises of meeting in the parking lot, blah, blah, blah….and then it ended as suddenly as it started.

**I feel that I have to put this disclaimer in so as not to seem racist or anti-redneck, because I am neither.  The devil is in the details. Yes, it was a black woman and a white woman of redneck persuasion (which I point out not to be politically incorrect but because it’s true). **

These women are in the stands of my son’s first tackle football game and talking trash at one another, threatening violence, and it all started because the white redneck woman made a joke to one of the water carriers on the field and for whatever reason it offended the the black woman.

It was ugly.

And it was sad.

I don’t care about the color of their skin. I don’t care about their lifestyle. I don’t care about how they dress, what kind of car they drive, or where they live.  I don’t care about what they had for breakfast and I don’t care if they use paper or plastic.

I do care that two grown women decided to have a loud, ridiculously uncalled for argument filled with obscene words and hate speech in the bleachers at my son’s football game. I feel safe in assuming that they were there for sons or other family members of their own.

The bleachers were full of kids of all ages. There were parents, grandparents, and family friends. As an avid observer, I couldn’t help but look around and notice the looks on the faces of others. Some were amused. Some seemed embarrassed. Some were frustrated or angry.

The only thing that kept me from telling them to take their childish bullshit to the parking lot and just get ‘er done was the fact that I’ve never been a fan of getting beat up and, at the age of 46, I don’t run as fast as I used to. Then there is the whole ‘want to set a good example for my children’ thing.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not perfect and my kids are not naive to the colorful words (although ‘whore’ was not one I really wanted to explain). It was the vile and hateful words and very public show of ignorance and inconsideration that bothered me the most.

Wrong time, wrong place, ladies (a term I use loosely) but, truly, there isn’t a right time or right place for that behavior. Ever. Except prison. Maybe.

It is my belief that sports programs for kids are to promote exercise, fun, teamwork, and good sportsmanship. It’s fantastic family time. Nothing gets under my skin more than grown people at kids’ sporting events that can’t behave. These women were just two more on a long list of adults acting like idiots at the many, many kids’ sports events I have attended.

I have seen men go at women, women go at men, men go at men, and women go at women. I have heard coaches yelling at players for their own just plain stupid play calls and then watched those kids hang their heads in shame. I’ve seen coaches throw hats and clipboards and on one occasion, I shit you not, a coach throw himself on the ground in the end zone at a 6U flag football game. 6U is, you may have guessed, 5 and 6 year old children.

I think maybe some of us have forgotten why we’re there in the first place.

I get it….I like to win, too. Seriously, does anyone like to lose?

I don’t like everyone in the stands. I mean, who likes everybody? Some people are just plain obnoxious but I live by the philosophy  ‘Not my circus. Not my monkeys.’, not to mention ‘Karma is a bitch.’ If it is my circus or my monkeys, well….I like to think I would act like an adult.

It’s you who thinks you’re at the Superbowl or you own the field. It’s you who thinks your kid is going to earn a full scholarship to his or her (our your) college of choice based on their performance in this one game.

These are kids, people. They are watching. They are learning. And, yes, they are emulating. They just want to have fun, hang with their friends, and play a game.

So please fucking behave.






photo credit: via photopin (license)

44 thoughts on “Bleacher Report”

  1. That’s awful, and makes me not excited for when the time comes to enroll my children in sports. I can’t believe how ridiculous people get at youth sporting events. Stop living vicariously through your child or acting like a douche and be there to celebrate the skills you kid learns ffs.

    Great piece S!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s all I’m sayin’. Thanks Briton! But don’t ever let it deter you from having the boys play. There are assholes everywhere. Be like me, be there for your kid and his team. Period.


  2. Shame on the 2 woman. But also shame on everybody else who was there and did not have te courage to speak up. Civilisation does not fall down because of 2 nasty woman arguing, it cease to exist because we are cowards.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you. Part of me did stay out of it our of cowardice probably. However, I never underestimate situations anymore. Seemingly harmless word throwing sometimes changes in an instant. I choose my battles carefully. Fortunately it diffused quickly but it was a shame.


  3. I’ve witnessed much of the same at children’s soccer games. The kids want to play, have fun, admire their cleats, and the adults are acting like World Cup is riding on the game. I often sat to the side and cheered alone, because, while I wanted to support my children, I didn’t want to get embroiled in the madness. Those coach stories are so real, sometimes. I’ve seen refs eject parents from the field for their unsportsmanlike conduct. I mean really, get a life.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. There truly is a time and place and this definitely wasn’t it. And still I am not even sure there is a time and place for this awful behavior to be quite honest. I just don’t get why some people think spreading their vile words and hatred is the right thing as it is most definitely not and what we do need is more acceptance and tolerance of all. Just feel bad that our kids have to witness stuff like this, but I am glad they have parents like us to try to explain if nothing else.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is a terrible thing to witness anywhere and I’ve seen people act like jerks at kids’ sporting events before. But this just took it to a whole new level. It was awful. You’re right…there isn’t a time or place that this is right, Janine.


  5. I cannot tell you how much I love this post. Not my circus, not my monkeys is a personal mantra of mine 🙂 One of my friends is a basketball coach….of girls. She has started handing out a flyer at every game explaining good conduct to the parents!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Words to live by!

      In this league all of the parents have to sign a code of conduct, for themselves as well as staing that others attending the games with them will follow the rules. I think someone needs to be paying attention to what’s going on in the bleachers because obviously that was a waste of paper.


  6. Whoa. I’m shocked! Unbelievable. It saddens me to know there are people in this world who would talk/behave like that ever, much less in front of kids. Seriously…you said it best: fucking behave.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Now that’s where I draw the line. I’ve spoken up to a coach before. He made a shit call then had the nerve to yell at my son who just happened to be the best player he had. I was polite and did it quietly but I made it clear that if he blamed my son for his mistakes one more time he had played his last play on his team. Ridiculous is right!


    1. I wasn’t too worried about myself. I felt bad for the kids, especially the little girl who was standing next to her mother who was cursing and calling another woman fat. That’s wonderful parenting right there.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yup, Gag Order, it was only between a few parents, and it was messy. One Mother shouted out some terrible things she knew about another mother and I guess, the law had been involved. The next game a lawyer came and we all signed a gag order. Terrible Stuff

        Liked by 1 person

  7. This interaction turned my stomach, Sandy. I can only imagine what it must have been like to be there. It’s just horrible how humans treat each other. Just horrible.

    With heart,

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It was pretty disgusting. I just wanted to watch my son play ball. It’s one of my favorite things in the world to do. Fortunately, the moment passed and they behaved for the rest of the game but it was an ugly few moments.


  8. I am quite happy not having my child in any extra curicular activities. She has no real interest in it either but yeah…. I have to say I am not a fan of being beat up and that whole example for my child thing too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Most of the time it’s the fun that it should be but then there are the moments that are less than stellar. This is about the most intense I’ve ever seen and I hope don’t have to see it again.


  9. I don’t believe there’s ever an appropriate time and place for that sort of thing, but it’s even more inappropriate, if that’s possible, in front of children and in a situation of this type. I grew up playing and loving competitive sports, but not only didn’t we hear this, we all knew we were playing a game! Hard to expect children to keep things in perspective when adults can’t.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. You are so right! I love watching my kids play but just like so many other things it’s just become so distorted. I’m hopeful that this was an isolated incident but I’m sure I’ll still see some asinine behavior.


  10. It’s crazy how kids sports events brings out the worse in some parents. A friend of mine is harassed every time her son plays basketball, because he’s really talented and tall for his age. She has to sit and listen to hate speech every weekend. It’s appalling.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Some people just plain suck. It’s horrifying that people would behave like this in general and more so that they were doing so in front of their kids at a kid’s sporting event! OMG calling somebody a whore in front of her 4yo daughter? It’s disgusting. And I don’t blame you for not getting involved. As much as I’d have wanted to, these things are scary and can escalate and and sigh.
    We’re not really doing any of the sports that would result in behavior like this yet and when we do I think we’ll choose adaptive because my son would be the one the coach yells at and that’s NOT gonna happen.


  12. I haven’t witnessed anything quite this bad at a game, but I’ve witnessed my fair share of parents and/or coaches berating the kids. THE KIDS. And I’ve listened to plenty of talk of college prospects for 10 year old boys playing baseball. It’s effin’ insane. So many parents are ruining what is supposed to be fun competition. My son quit baseball a few years ago and randomly decided to try out for a year round competitive swim team. Let me tell ya, swim parents are chill. I love it. We sit at meets and read, chat, look up when our kid swims and cheer for a minute, then back to reading. It’s awesome!


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